I would have to say I’m not quite ready to meet Recluse. I just caught myself clenching my jaw as I was typing that. He might be more nervous then me though. I don’t know?

Recluse is a crack up, and a very quick wit. I totally love that.

We’ve been talking since the 21st. Not really that long, but we’ve been talking about 3 times day.

I’m excited to go to the stock show with Recluse. I was telling him that when I was was there yesterday taking some photos of the antique tractors, I had to pass all the new squeeze chutes and the area where that sort of stuff is sold and on display. Recluse said he wanted to check that out, and believe it or not, that totally excites me. I want Recluse to be my rancher. I know this is my year, and things could not be much better, except for more money coming my way.

I’ll take some photos of Recluse when maybe he isn’t looking, since I think almost everyone looks great that way.

I colored my hair the other day, and lets just say, WOW ….it’s a bit bright. I had been a blonde and wanted to go darker since I had a ton of my out growth, which is brownish, reddish and a golden mixture. Now pretty freakin bright. Not only was my out growth a problem, I was sort of blonde with darker roots coming in.

I decided to be a red head again, but like I said…WOW!  I tried  these new vibrant colors, and I’m smiling even as I type this. It’s freaking bright. I’ve attempted to calm it down town, but it’s not happy. AND here comes Recluse into town tomorrow. I will try one more time and cross my fingers. It’s being a pain in my rear!

I would love to meet with my new friend and possible mentor Rowdy. He is the one with will be helping me put together my first art show. I’m so excited. He wanted to meet before Recluse came into town tomorrow, but I can’t. I work tomorrow, Recluse comes into town, and

I have been sooooooo busy. I didn’t even get on the computer until late today. I cleaned my house, did laundry, grocery store and my sister’s house, to work on some some tax stuff, with her help.

The Bug whom is now 18 decided she was going to go get another piercing yesterday. I was scared because I know which one she wanted. The septum. Nooooo! She went out and did it, and honestly I was disappointed, but she’s an adult now, and I can’t control her. Not that she is any where near out of control. It totally backfired on her though. Her boyfriend blew his top and she took it out. I’m sure it cost a pretty penny. Poor thing, she has been crying a ton. She’s still up and it’s midnight.

I can’t believe I’m still awake.

Recluse will be here soon. Panic! Excitement! Intrigue! Wonder! All sorts of emotions wrapped into what will happen tomorrow.

I’ll blog as soon as I can and have the energy. Cheers…..to the Recluse

I had to post the Saturday Morning blog on Monday morning. I had started  it on Saturday after my date, but now I have to write about the actually date.

I’m still not sure what to think. I like Bill! The curse maybe has been broken, but it’s way too soon to know. He did call me back on Saturday for a date. He thought that a nice walk in Washington Park and then dinner would be nice. It was!!!!

GEEZ!!!!!!!! I think when I’m nervous I talk too much. I wanted to eat, but I didn’t even get half of my meal down, before I realized he was finished. Dang it! I have to shut up and ask more questions. I asked questions,  but not enough. He is very fun to be around. He’s smart and interesting. Cute, and a good kisser. He’s gentle, but strongly built. I got my first kiss after dinner, sitting at the lake talking.

Who knows when I’ll hear from him again?

A rancher in Recluse, WY contacted me through Match. I’m certainly open to knowing more about him. Not too far from where Mike has his ranch.

That was fun, but so was Sunday. I got in a motorcycle ride. That was just what I needed.

I did some Christmas shopping, and went down to my folks place for dinner. My niece Hannah and my nephew Hayden are great kids. I just love them. I love how Hayden still snuggles up to me. He is 13 in a few weeks and just as cute and tall as can be. Totally smart and was a boy that, when born had a screwdriver in his hand. He wanted me to wrestle with him. NO PROBLEM! I love wrestling! He is no match for me still, but he is still skinny and will be way bigger then me.

Hannah is just a sweetheart. Beautiful, smart, funny and tougher than her brother. She is in 6th grade so that might make her 10 or 11? I love those kids.

It never fails.

I swear if I like a guy, like there’s some potential down the road……..he will never call me. He said he would, but it’s maybe better he isn’t. I don’t tend to get totally giddy, but I did have a nice time. It seemed like he was, but maybe he was just trying to be a gentleman?? Who knows.

It’s best maybe this way anyway, because I really don’t know if I could basically start over in the parenting role. He has three small children, and I would be the ripe ol’s age of 60 by the time the kids were getting out the door. That would kill me. I am so ready to spread my wings and check out what life is like after the Bug goes to college.

My daughter and I talked about my curse and she seems to think I might act totally different when I am attracted to someone. When I’m just one of the guys…they tend to like me more. The cowboys sure wanted whatever little piece of me they could get, at least some of them. Some married, some single.

I should give up! But I don’t know how. I think I have been looking for a husband since my Kindergarden days. I had two husbands at the age of 5. I had great guys too.

I think my life is just better single. I have such a great life now, that maybe I should just give up the search. I just don’t know how. It’s almost like an addiction since this is all I’ve ever known. Screw the people who say….oh once you give up searching, he’ll come into your life. That is such a crock of you know what. I just think singleness just happens to some of us. It’s almost like a forced aloneness. I could have been married to some crappy guys who I would have divorced over the years, but I would just rather be single, than date a loser.

Park Hill was an easy come, easy go sort of guy. I have to say, I was smitten but only for a day. It doesn’t hurt so bad when you know it would be for the better.

I HATE assuming! It is fine the way it is.

Speaking of men, Juan must be with someone. He really has fallen off the radar. Walter becomes a hermit, and hater of all things Winter, and this time of year everyone is so busy with family stuff anyway.

Men…….can’t live with them………pass the beer nuts!

I had such a wonderful, day and a wonderful evening.

I didn’t sleep well last night. I had FASSA on my mind. Little did I know I could have slept well and not had to worry my brain. I’ll get back to that later.

First after not sleeping, I rolled out of bed around six. I think I woke up around 5:15, and there is not way I would set my feet on the floor at the hour. I had an 8:00 a.m. smash my boobs mammogram. Damn! that machine claps down on your boob like there is no tomorrow. You can”t even take a deep breath. It’s not possible to raise your chest cavity that much.

I had to have it done, so I got that out of the way. Everything looks good, but they will be calling me within a few days after they take a closer look. But I’m confident I’m healthy. In the waiting room of this really nice office, there are mostly middle aged to older women. No one was talking, except the women who worked there that greeted you in the back waiting area. Swanky!

As I was sitting there I looked across the little area to a really cool fountain that ran slowly down a wall. I had the urge to go touch it being the Pisces I am, but I sat and enjoy watching. They had some cool lights on it too that would change to some really groovy colors. A woman walked out after being given the green light to go home, but as she walked by she stopped and touched it. I had been there for maybe half an hour, fighting the urge to feed that need for the tactile feel. The surface it was running down looked rough, and it made the water take on some cool patterns.

As the lady touched it, I had to say, “I’ve thought about doing that the whole time I’ve been sitting here.” We ended up getting in a huge conversation about fountains, which then got other people in the conversation and the next thing I knew I was getting to know a lady not too far from me. She has a Centennial Ranch in Meeker. I love Meeker! We had a great chat. Another woman wanted me to help her with a word search puzzle. It was a 70’s music word search. She didn’t want me to look with her, she wanted to to sing the songs with her. It was fun. A great way to actually start my not so fun experience of the smashed boog morning.

I left there and went to my bank. The girls love me there. They all greet my by my name and usually we end up shooting the breeze about whatever strikes out fancy. I do one of the girls hair that works there.

I went home and one of my girlfriends came over for a while. Anne is one of my dear friends. I just love her! She has helped me so much in so many incredible ways. She’s a wealth of information.

After Anne left I went to buy some Christmas lights. I went to St. Nick’s, which is the coolest Christmas store EVER! Since my daughter doesn’t read my blog I’ll share what I bought for her there. Se has always been the bug. She would always draw little ladybugs as her symbol, I guess. It just stuck. I asked the lady that works there if they would have a ladybug ornament. Of all things………they did. They actually had a few to choose from. I picked the cutest one. I want to give it to her to remember our time in this phase of our lives and how drastically it will be changing.

I had to mail my old crappy Verizon phone back to them after receiving my new one. Man! I hated that phone more than I’ve hated about anything in the world, and that’s saying a lot for me. Did that!

Came home made tons of phone calls. One being to Shelby’s hopeful future college. FASSA is the financial aid application. That is going to come in handy!!!!!!!!! I talked to my tax guy this morning to get him all set to do my taxes, and he tells me it won’t be until late January or early February. I thought he was joking. It’s true though. Taxes have changed quite a bit and to get all the changes ready for the tax season seems quite monumental.

That’s were me talking to the college comes in. I wanted to see if that was really going to screw me up, and the very nice lady told me “no, not at all.” Sweet, now I will sleep well. The stress of trying to get her in the college of her dreams is pretty stressful to me, but it’s likely more stressful for her.

I then got an email on Match from a man who lives in Park Hill. A neighborhood in Denver I’m pretty familiar with, since  I worked close to that area for 18 years of my life. His name is Bill. In my phone I have him down as Bill Park Hill, since I don’t know his last name. I have a few Bill’s in my phone, so unless I know your last name you have a little nick name. Bill Park Hill sounds great though. He wanted to take me out to dinner. We have been having some trouble connecting. We finally met tonight. He took me out to a nice dinner not far from my house. Dinner was great, and his company was even better. He’s really cute, seems really smart, is in great shape…..yummy!  not a drunk, so it seems…..has climbed all of Colorado’s 14er’s, gets the hugest bonus for having a place in Westcliffe, and was really fun to talk to and get to know over dinner.

I’d go out with him again. I’m a tiny bit worried, because I really don’t know if I could do the little kids again. It would be those huge fun years of my life where I can run free after being mom. My new coming freedom is fun to think about. I feel as though I’ve worked in a really relaxed prison system. I didn’t want to move my child away from her dad, his family, and my family. I wanted the best education I could get. I have been blessed in many ways to have had her in the best schools. It’s paying off slowly. Nice!

I’m Otis in Mayberry RFD. He would voluntarily walk to jail and lock himself in the jail cell. That’s me without the drinking problem he had.

So, I’m not sure how I feel about little kids. Can I do it? I LOVE kids!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE THEM!!!!!!!! But I don’t know if I want to help raise kids.

I know it’s sooooooooooooooooooooooo early to even think about things like this, but I have to. I don’t want to hurt someone, or get myself hurt, or in a situation where I could be resentful, or something like that.

It’s nice for me to even have a date I really enjoyed. That alone is a good Christmas present.

I’m starting this blog on Sunday evening! and going into Tuesday morning:

Written SUNDAY: I had a really good time at the Deer Trail Rodeo today.. I didn’t get very many good shots at all though. Behind the bucking chutes was packed with cowboys. I love this rodeo, because as much rodeo that you would see, you see the kids have all sorts of events for them as well. The one I loved was in certain age groups. For instance age 5 and under for one event. The kids all come down onto a horse race track. Once they gather there, adults take their shoes. Once the kids are without their shoes, adults then mix them all up and throw them on opposite sides in a row. The kids are moved about 20 yards down the track and when the guy says go, they run back where all their shoes are mixed up. Once they find their shoes, they put them on all the way, and race back down the track from where they started. They were getting prizes like a new pair of Justin Boots for winning. Cash prizes too for other events. I love how they treat the kids at this rodeo. No other rodeo I’ve been to, does that. I left a bit early because I could tell it was going to pour. It did!

I got home in time to watch some PBR, which I haven’t been able to do in months. That was pretty fun, and the best part is… Cody Lostroh is in first place. He’s a kid from Colorado who is one fire right now. I have to say my favorite rider right now is JB Mauney. He has better form riding than most guys.

Written Monday: I must have slept all freaky last night. My left shoulder woke me up it hurt so bad. I knew what I needed. I needed to find some hot springs. The Bug and I decided we would head to Steamboat Springs to soak in Strawberry Park. The drive seemed longer than usual, but I couldn’t hardly wait to get there. I’ve been there before but Shelby never had been. It’s sort of an out of the way place, hard to find.

Once we got there and got all ready the water was PERFECT!

Strawberry Park Hot SpringsI

I took my little point and shoot to show you a bit of what it looks like. The pool on the back side of the green tent thing is the pool I was in the most. It was the perfect temp for me. The pool in the background on the right is the cool pool. WOW! That will wake anybody up after soaking in the hot one. I would jump in there, swim around a bit and make my way back to the hot pool. There’s lots of little cubby holes that are cool around there too.

We had such a great day together. Both of us were pretty wiped out though.

I’m sitting at work wishing someone to call or come in and get me working and busy. I’ll just take my slow time now to blog.

I should have blogged yesterday. I had a really slow day yesterday, and today isn’t much better. The good news is……I’m busy on the days I usually took off. For instance, this coming Tuesday I’m really busy! Sweet!

I had a really nice lunch yesterday. I met this guy on Match. Not the rancher by any means. He is really smart and I love that. He has a security business which I find interesting, and lives in the most beautiful area south of Denver and west of I-25. I always ride there for the beauty and the ranches in the area are so incredible. Sort of a hilly area, nestled against the foothills. Pine trees, elk, deer, bear, and all sorts of other critters. I love the hay fields, old barns, twisty roads, and open space. It’s been built up a ton since I was a little kid, but it’s still so pretty.

I’ve taken Walter out there for a couple of rides. I figure if I ever go down riding, I would want it to be on that road. Maybe some cute country boy would scoop me up and take care of me. Right???? Ha!

I had a great day yesterday though. We had lunch at the Black Pearl. The lunch menu is rather odd. I had a lamb burger. It was very good, but it’s just one of those things that shocked me to see on the menu. He was right on time. I got there a bit early. He is cute! Really blue eyes, a buzzed head, grey hair, and sort of big. Very nice! He asked me nice questions, seemed interested and today he asked me out to dinner next week sometime. Sweet!

I still haven’t heard from Mike. I don’t know if he is on the ranch where there is no computer, or if he is just ignoring me.  I wish he could work out his stuff, but I’m not in charge of what is going on. So, I move on.

I was reading about a chic MM fight. I think Carano is going to get her lights punched out. She gets press because she’s pretty and a decent fighter. I’m personally not impressed. I was checking out her opponent and she is Brazilian and studies Muay Thai. It’s looks like she takes roids. She looks wicked! I wouldn’t mess with her.

I had parked my bike on my porch after my neighbor had told me about someone trying to steal it or messing with it. Well, like I said in my last post, I have moats on the side of my sidewalk that leads to the street and street sidewalk. Well, I thought I had put enough brain work into how I was going to move it so I could go ride. What ended up happening was funny. I got it high centered in my flower bed. I couldn’t get it out by myself without tipping it over. All I needed was a tiny pull or push back. My neighbor and his son saw what happened and came to my rescue. We ended up talking for about an hour.

Once I got it all out and cleaned up, I went up to Morrison to hang out with my friend Kari at her bar. I had fun and had a bowl of yummy soup and my usual shot of Patron Silver. That was fun as usual and it’s always fun to ride my bike. I might go out later and ride tonight. I don’t know?

I might write later, but who knows?

One of my clients gave me a great idea today for writing a book about Internet dating. I don’t know if I ever would do this project, but the idea was inventive and really fun. It has to do with emails shared back and forth. I branched out a bit on the Internet dating thing. I decided another venue along with the Match.com saga.

When I tried this other site before I had more emails than on Match. It was crazy and a bit too much for me. I’ll see how it works for me now.

I seriously have the best friends. Both my buddies Walter and Juan are right there with the “I’m sorry” for me. Juan sent me a text that said “Sorry to hear about Mike. A loss he won’t soon realize. I hope you’re doing well.” I mean come on, how nice is that? Thanks Juan!

I didn’t hear from Mr. Sheridan again today. I think he has decided that I was the throw back. It’s ok, I’m fine. I liked him, but I deserve the best. I had fun for the 3 weeks. I think he is going on a fishing trip tomorrow up in Montana with a bunch of his buddies. That sounds like fun. I wish him the best, but he’s going to have a rough go of it. It’s hard after divorce, to find yourself and who you are. It’s confusing and should be used wisely.

This will be my first free weekend since April something. I don’t know what to do with myselfish. I might go up to Steamboat to visit friends. I think I might go the Stonewall to visit Bill’s ranch. I love it there. I haven’t heard from him for a few months. I know things on his place are a tough right now after his fathers death.

I might try to find a rodeo to go shoot too. I need to take some photos. I need to burn some CD’s for some ranching families too. I have been lame in that area. Now I think I can focus on that.

I’m writing again to the Colorado Cattlemen’s Association to see about them sponsoring me in my photo work. I need a new camera in the near future. I would do some trade for that or even let them advertise on my blog…….whatever. I’m open!!! I’m not sure if my email went through though, I didn’t get the confirmation email back, which it said I would. Hmmm?

My friend Art lost his mother on Saturday. I feel sad for him. He had called and left a message for me while I was out of cell service on Mike’s ranch. He didn’t sound well. Poor thing! I wish I could be there to give him a hug, not that it would make things better, I’m just more of a hands on sort of friend. He lives a few hours from me though. I think I’ll send him a card tomorrow.

I picked up a new battery for my motorcycle today and I think the guy gave me the wrong one. I know I’m a girl, but I swear the guy gave me the wrong one. Crap! I tried and tried to make it work, with no luck. I am going to take photos of my old and new one for Cory and see if he can help me figure this one out.

I had a good day today. I’m finally having some time to be home today and clean my house some. I’ve been gone for soooo many weekends. I still have a bit to go, but I don’t like clutter. It makes me uncomfortable.

I started this blog on Tuesday when I returned from WYO:

I took Shelby up to Wyoming to meet Mr Sheridan, and to have a fun time playing at the ranch. We drove into Sheridan and stayed the first night at his place there, and then on Sunday morning we headed for the ranch. I have sooooooo much fun there!!!!!!! I’m so built for that life. I know I write about it all the time, but someday, maybe it will happen for me. I’m one step closer everyday. I’ll live on a ranch someday, I hope!

My weekend was one of discovery, fun, good food, new friends, stars, rain, ATV’s, shooting guns, and my bow, which beat my arm to death.

Bow Whacking

You can tell I don’t relax my left arm enough, plus I turn my elbow too far in toward the bow. Not good when you shoot an arrow from a bow. The whack comes from the bow string on my release. I delivered a few choice words to the ease the pain. It’s not as bas as it looks. It hurts really bad for about 10 seconds, and then it’s just sore. The elbow area hurts a bit more. I wasn’t too bad of a shot regardless. I think my second or third shot was a bulls eye. I never missed the target. I love target practicing!!!!! Mike was very helpful in correcting my arm situation. I don’t think I have even shot my bow for two years. Dang! That’s a sad fact right there. I love hunting. It’s really fun. You’re usually with good friends, you hike a ton, see beautiful country, and I could seriously care a less if I ever kill anything. I do love the meat though.

Mr. Sheridan made back strap elk steak. Oh my Lord! That was very good! The bug ate about 2. I ate one. Mr. Sheridan’s brother steaks, and his wife had brats and some sort of blend of game and beef burgers…..I think. It looked great. I love hanging out with them. Fun and funny people.

Mr. Sheridan’s brother, likes to tell shit stories. I laughed so hard, I about made myself sick. I have to tell this story. I even called the bug to make sure I had the story straight. Geez, she had way better detail. So, his brother was out working somewhere where it was super, super cold. Below zero sort of cold. The place where he lived didn’t have the plumbing finished yet, so you had to go outside. Well, whatever his brother had eaten a bit earlier was working its way though way to fast for him to get to where he needed to go. He had to go down some steps and every time he took a step down he thought he was farting, but he realized it wasn’t gas because it was getting warm. I’m laughing so hard right now when he’s telling this. He tells stories well too. So, his brother was doing the march of the penguins to the place to relieve himself. Once he gets there he unfastens his overalls and does his business. He finishes, and pulls up his overalls. Remind you, it’s way below zero. The poor guy realized that he had done his business all over his overalls and when he went to go fasten them back up……..there was shit all over his neck and back now, which became FROZEN!

He walked back in and made a beeline for the bathroom and told the whoever was there that he had had a train wreck. The guy is a total crack up. A great hand too. He works for Mr. Sheridan and takes great pride in his work and it really shows. It’s well kept.

I got to ride ATV’s around with Mr. Sheridan and check on water along with watching him fix a float issue with a couple of pumps. Mr. Sheridan and his brother are super strong guys. Very close brothers, Mr. Sheridan’s best friend. I arm wrestled MR. Sheridan one night and even when he told me I could use both hands I couldn’t beat him. He taught me how to play Rummy and I think I only won one game out of 20. I SUCK…….I know! I had a great time playing cards though.

I have to tell you about my target practice. Mr. Sheridan has a 22 rifle with a scope on it. It’s a fun one for practice too. I’m not use to scopes. It was hard to find the way to see through the scope right. It’s hard to explain, but once you get the hang of it, it’s like you are almost instantly trained on how to see through it. You don’t have to try as hard, you find your sweet spot. Mr. Sheridan showed me also how to shoot left handed. I’m left eye dominant, but right shooter. I will never shoot a gun right handed again. I’m much more natural left handed with guns. Bows……only right handed. I loved learning and feeling that and being able to experience that. Thanks Mr. Sheridan

I had written a couple of blogs about Mr. Sheridan that I didn’t publish. Writing is therapeutic for me, so I got my thoughts straight and tried to talk to him about how I really didn’t like the way things went with him this weekend. I’m not sure how long we talked. He said all the right things, but I honestly am disappointed. I told him that I think he has a lot of anger toward women right now. I can’t accept someone who is treating me with a lack a respect knowing that this is only the 3rd week we’ve hung out. I think it would only get worse. I was quite shocked, and the Bug was too.

I think he needs to date and open up a few cans of “what the fuck”. I think he has much to learn about being single and trying to date after a new divorce. Dating can/does totally suck. He needs to learn about himself and how to treat a woman, if he wants to date. Mr. Sheridan goes out of his way to do anything I want. I love that about him. He also thinks I look passable with my hair in pig tails and no makeup. Sweet! I love that! I think most women would love to hang out with Mr. Sheridan. I don’t see most liking the ranch life though. I know he won’t find someone better, but that’s ok with me. I told him that he needs to date more and I will go back to my single life.

I think him staying on Match was also a wake up call for me. I did discuss my weekend with Walter a bit. He felt so bad for me. He is the first in line always pushing me to find the great guy. I love how my friends tell me things about how I deserve a great guy. I do deserve a great guy. I have paid my dues a few times in life. I’m happy either way. I love my life. I wish I could pay my bills better, but I’m still having a great life.

I don’t know if Mr. Sheridan will try to redeem himself, but I told him the ball is in his court. I know what I want, and if he wants to court me and treat me like the lady I am (hey, no snickering) then I might consider dating him again. He really isn’t ready for someone like me though. He needs to find some real bad ones for awhile, or even a few (gorgeous)  good ones who will only be with him for his money. I think he needs the trophy wife. I don’t believe it will have a good outcome, but that’s my opinion.

I match up with Mr. Sheridan in many ways, but I can’t teach him how to appreciate women more. No, I’m not beautiful, but I am a great person. I think he might be looking for the wealthy, big fake rack, trophy wife. I’m so far from that.

I really don’t know what Mr. Sheridan will do as far as trying to be my friend now. I didn’t hear from him last night. I saw him on Match though. I wish I could be a fly on a wall when he’s out and about.

The ball is in his court. I can already see the writing on the wall. If a man is crazy about you, they let it known…….this I know! They will swim through shark infested waters for the glass of iced tea that I want. Steve Harvey talks about men being fishermen. I’m either going to be a ‘keeper” or a “throw back.”

I’m the throw back. Sort of self inflicted. I think he caught me for a moment in time and I freed myself and got back in the water. I decided I would go back to my dating life. It would be really stupid of me to not to.

I could write tons more, but I have been up since 4. Shelby is gone for the week. She went to Dallas to visit her boyfriend Greg. I like Greg a lot. Good kid, but super tall. maybe 6′5″.

I have 10 days to myselfish or to do what ever. Rip it up!

Thursday morning:

I had some company over last night. A couple if friends came over and hung out for a bit. I didn’t feel like going out. I was so tired. I made myself stay up until 10:30 just so I would get good sleep. I don’t know if I moved a muscle last night. I was out.

I’m going to go buy a new motorcycle battery today. I miss my bike. I need the stress release.

I got asked to help shoot a wedding yesterday. I get to do the candid shots! Sweet! My friend Sam will be doing all the formal shit. That is sooooooo not me. I just like to hide and seek. I get the best stuff that way. I hate going to weddings. Maybe it’s because I’ve never had my own. I don’t know. I remember when my friend Carol got married the first time she threw the bouquet right at me. It beaned me on my chest and I didn’t move a freakin muscle. I was only about 19-20 then. She just married for the second time to my first serious boyfriend Kevin. Weird! I was out of town for their wedding.

This will be one of my first weeks I haven’t traveled in a long time. Maybe since the Bug isn’t around I’ll go somewhere. San Luis, Stonewall, I don’t know…….maybe I’ll just stay here. I feel like camping even. That would be fun.

I need to get ready for work. I hope I have a busy day like I did yesterday. I love being busy at work.

Yesterday I decided to ride to the hardware store and get some tubing for my swamp cooler. I needed 26 feet of it. Well, it comes in 50 or 100 feet. I take the 50 and stuff it under my jacket and head home. I fix that all up in less than 5 minutes. I’m quick.

Since I left my cell phone charger at Mike’s house in Sheridan, I have to charge it up when I drive my car. I didn’t feel like driving my car today though. I needed a motorcycle bonding day. Big deal………no ride, but I decided I would ride it to work. Everything is flowing soothly until……….I got distracted getting off my bike and left the key in the on position. STUPID!!!!!!

I realize my mistake when I can’t find my key when I need to leave. It’s been on for 3 hours. Dope! No juice left. We have a little portable charger for our clients to use in such a situation, but me???? When I go to use it the thing is dead. So, I walk home in the blazing hot sun and while it charges up at work. I get a ride from Shelby back down, since she is cleaning for us this week. I have jumper cables now. My co-worker is being helpful and going to let me jump it with her car. Sweet! Now the jumper cables come apart in my hands, so I send her on home. I go inside fix those babies and then it becomes comical to me. I can’t jump the bike with the kickstand down. Some safety feature? If I could get a jump I have to be geared up and ready to ride for an hour or so. That means someone basically has to clean up after me.

My friend Cory might come to my rescue today. Cory is my bike mechanic. We get along great. Our history is actually quite funny. I ended up making an “I’m single” shirt after we first met. He thought I was spoken for so he figured I was off limits. We started talking later and I was asking him what gave him that impression. I don’t wear a ring, my brother in law is with me, and he knows he’s my bro-in-law, and I still get that. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I had my friend Marc make me the “I’m Single” shirt.

Cory is always with a woman, but he’s the sort of guy who sees many women if he can manage it. Great mechanic, just not boyfriend material. I love the guy like my brother now. We have interesting conversations about his love life situation.

So, long story a bit shorter. Cory might get a little trim and help me with the bike. SWEET!

I have to ride it for a long time just to hopefully charge it up again.

Last night/yesterday was the first time I haven’t heard from Mike. It feels weird!

I’m really looking forward to seeing him. I’ve actually missed him this week. He’s played on the ranch all week with his brother Dan putting in new fence. I wish I could have helped.

I’m going in with my eyes wide open. It’s sort of odd having Mike read my blog, but I would read his too if he had one.

My blog is a window to who I am and what I desire in life, but I find myself not being about to express myself like I want. With the week I’ve had, I am ready to relax, but I also have some tension that is right in my face too. I’m used to that, but I’m not worried about it either.

Mike knows how I feel about him. I still feel like he might not be ready for me though. The newly divorced thing, gets in the way. I’m not stupid and I’m not desperate. I want to fall in love with the right man. I’m not one to point fingers unless finger pointing is due. I just want things to work, but I can’t make them work. Ya know?

I think I need to shake it up tonight and get out and about. I need some stress release. I’m glad this week is almost over.

This has only been the 11th day since Mike and I met face to face, but he’s really been on my mind.

Today he’s fencing all day with his brother. I wish I was there so bad! I love fencing! I know that sounds weird, but it’s nice physical labor. They are actually putting in new fence. Fencing is one of those things where I love the labor, but sometimes the conditions can be rough. Hard soil, rocky, tough angles, carrying supplies and hot sun can be some issues to deal with.

I have done some topless fencing in my past and I was telling Mike about that. I think he wanted me there to help yesterday. I mean when it’s hot and I have sunscreen, I’m good to go without a top. Big deal……when I was in high school I would weed my families garden topless. I’ve been topless many places. I’m not really hung up about it. Even from a young age. I don’t mind nudie places at all and have been to several hot springs that are clothing optional. Perfect. Honestly, most people look better with clothes on. TRUST ME ON THAT ONE!

I’ve been in a daze……..it’s really hard to be in Denver already. I love Shelby so much and cherish every single day I get with her. I crave her hugs, and conversations, her giggle, her eyes looking at me. She is so yummy I could just gobble her up. I tell you what though…….Mike is going to make this last year of Shelby living at home, pretty dang fun! I have so much in front of me. My wildest dreams could come true. I pray that they do. I have had such a great life. This is the cherry on the top though being able to meet Mike.

Mike even seemed a bit different in conversation yesterday. He seemed more relaxed too. Since we had our ‘dating exclusive’ talk the other night, it’s helped me relax, but he seems like he has a bouncy step now or something. I hope I can make him as happy as he can make me. He brings so much to the table. I feel like I bring nothing but myself.

One thing I have is confidence. I might be shy in some settings where I am thrown into a place where I know no one, but I have the confidence of knowing who I am. I love my life before Mike and now since I met him I can see how my life and wildest dreams are right in front of me.

I hope I fall in love with Mike. I’m going as slow as I can. I want to explore his brain. I want him to build trust in me. I want him to treat me like the woman I am, (no snickers from my friends) I do have a girlie side! I want him to respect me, protect me and provide for me. I’ve been daydreaming of what life would be like without having to work. That part seems really thick like mud right now. I can’t seem to work through that one. I have some ideas of what I’d like and Mike is right behind me pushing me already to dream. Dream is one thing I have mastered. I have 150% on those tests.

The way I got my nickname is from daydreaming and not paying attention to my basketball coach and he yelled “Frankie” and asked me to come back to the planet and be present. It stuck like glue. Oh, I can day dream. I was telling Mike last night that at the ranch he needs some sort of sauna or something to soak in. He already told me to start designing. SWEET! He and Dan can build anything. Dan is unbelievable at building frames. He is using the old, old wood from the homesteads on the ranch. Incredible work!

I fun starts today with that dream. I already have the spot picked out. Designing stuff is so fun. I have designed some cool features in some houses already. Bathroom design is fun. For Mikes place I might have to go and take some classes at Lowe’s or something. I want to learn how to do a type of rock work. For years and years I have been fascinated by learning to build rock walls. I’ve been searching for a photo so I could show you the type of rock work I love, but I can’t find one in google.

I need to go mow my yard now, before it gets too dang hot.